Today a few minutes after the kids got off the bus there was a knock at the door. I thought it was just one of the neighborhood kids wanting to play with my kids. I was so not ready for what was waiting.
There was a little girl that my daughters play with and her older sister, as she stood there rubbing her shorts and twisting her foot she told me "Ummm Jacob was cussing on the bus today with ______."
My heart sank.
Not my child.
I looked at the sister and asked if I could ask what word he was saying. The sister nudged the little girl to tell me and I was floored. It was the "F" word!!
My mind immediately started racing. What to do? What to do?
I thanked her and her sister very much for coming to tell me and I promised them I would handle the situation.
My brain went into overload.
Anyone that knows me at all knows exactly what I mean when I say this.
My brain starts to literally steam and you can see the smoke coming out of my ears.
I kept asking myself what is the proper punishment.
What is a good consequence?
I immediately texted the other mom because she is one of my friends.
I sent Jacob to his room and the other boy home after telling them both that I was very disappointed, and that I would be talking to the bus driver and that I hoped for their sake it was not true.
I then called the school to let them know what had happened and how sorry I was and how I wanted my son to get on the bus tomorrow afternoon and apologize to the whole bus for "littering in their ears with such nasty language". The Vice Principal asked if she too could talk to Jacob about how disappointed she was and I said OF COURSE! I also informed them that all 3 kids will now be picked up by me each day in carpool instead of riding the bus.
After getting off the phone with the vice principal I then went up and talked to Jacob. I told him he had 1 chance and 1 chance only to be honest with me or the punishment would be more severe. I asked him if he wanted a few minutes to think about everything before I asked him my question. He said No. So I asked "What happened on the bus today?"
My son admitted to me that he said a cuss word on the bus. I asked him which one to make sure the stories all matched up. He told me and then added that he did not know what it meant.
You want to talk about overload for this mom!!!! He is 9!! Do I tell a 9 year old what such a word means!! My response was, it is a very nasty word and I do not think it is necessary for me to tell you exactly what it means at this age. I also informed him I would talk to Daddy about it all and get his input on whether or not it was appropriate to tell him. (Clays immediate response to me was "I think it will lead to more questions." so we decided to just tell him it is not an appropriate word for a 9 year old or even an adult to say.) When Clay got home and we were able to approach Jacob together Clay explained to Jacob about how people have made up a lot of nasty words for things, and Clays example was "POOP"!! You could see the light bulb in Jacobs mind turn on. Point made and no more questions of what the word meant. Phew
UPDATE (5-9-2012):
So very proud of my son right now! Yesterday he was too embarrassed to get on the bus and apologize. This morning he stood outside with his Dad and waited for the bus to come. The bus driver knew my plan and was very happy with it all. So this morning when she saw us out there she stopped at our driveway and let Jacob get up. He read the speech he had written about bad language then got off the bus as quick as he could!! He did not shed a single tear this morning!He corrected his wrong! One of the first steps to MANHOOD!!!
I am so proud of Jacob!!
He is really growing up!!
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